20 of Shakespeare’s Most Blistering Insults

He did have a way with words.

Intellectual Takeout | November 15, 2016 | 624

He did have a way with words.
20 of Shakespeare’s Most Blistering Insults
  1. “No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip: she is spherical, like a globe.” Dromio of Syracuse referring to the great girth of the future wife of his lost brother in The Comedy of Errors
  2. “Thou art a Castilian King urinal!” – The Host to Caius in The Merry Wives of Windsor
  3. “I think thy horse will sooner con an oration than thou learn a prayer without book.” – Thersites to his Ajax in Troilus and Cressida (con meant to memorize)
  4. “The gold I give thee will I melt and pour down thy ill-uttering throat.” – Cleopatra to a messenger who brought news of Marc Antony’s marriage to Octavia in Anthony and Cleopatra
  5. “Go hang thyself in thine own heir-apparent garters!” – Falstaff to Hal in Henry IV, Part I
  6. “Would thou were clean enough to spit upon!” – Timon to Apemantus in Timon of Athens
  7. “Thou art a boil, a plague-sore or embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blook.” King Lear to his daughter, who is trying to persuade him to dismiss his attendants 
  8. “Monster, I do smell all horse-piss, at which my nose is in great indignation.” Trinculo to the half-human slave Caliban in The Tempest
  9. “Thou elvish-marked, abortive, rooting hog!” – Queen Margaret to Richard, murderer of her husband and son, Richard II
  10. “You poor, base, rascally, cheating, lack-linen mate!”—A tavern wench to Pistol in Henry IV, Part II
  11.  “Thou art the cap of all the fools alive.” — Apemantus to Timon in Timon of Athens
  12. “What do you see? You see an ass-head of your own, do you?” – Bottom to Puck in A Midsummer Night’s  Dream, not knowing that Puck had bestowed him an ass’s head all but he could see.
  13. “This sanguine coward, this bed-presser, this horseback-breaker, this huge hill of flesh…” — Prince Hal speaking of Falstaff in Henry IV, Part I
  14. “Thou drone, thou snail, thou slug, thou sot!” – Luciana to Dromio in The Comedy of Errors 
  15. “Never hung poison on a fouler toad.” – Lady Anne speaking of Richard, in Richard III
  16. “Where wilt thou find a cavern dark enough to mask thy monstrous visage?” — Brutus speaking to assassination conspirators in Julius Caesar
  17. “Methinks thou art a general offense, and every man should beat thee.” — Lord Lafew to Parolles in All’s Well That End’s Well
  18. “He has been five thousand years a boy.” — Rosaline, speaking of the King, in Love’s Labor’s Lost
  19. “Go thou and fill another room in Hell!” — King Richard as he slays a man in Richard II
  20. “Away you cut-purse rascal! You filthy bung, away!” A tavern wench to Pistol in Henry IV, Part II