Being an introvert has always been seen as a challenge to many people. Despite the fact that there are millions of introverts in the world, many extroverts still look puzzled at us, shocked with our behavior and choices.
However, we still enjoy their company and wish they could understand us better so to avoid stress and misunderstandings. So here is a list of things that I wish my extroverts friends knew – and I bet if you also are an introvert, you will be considering sending this list to your friends too.
1. That we Can Be excited even if We don’t seem to be
When we make an accomplishment or see something that we really enjoy, we don’t have the need to jump around the place, shout away, or throw a party. Maybe, we won’t even smile, and our extrovert friends might even think that we aren’t happy at all – maybe there is a bad side of that story that they haven’t noticed, they think.
But the truth is that we might be extremely excited, even though our faces say otherwise. It is just that we express our feelings differently, and that we are already planning our next moves in our minds instead of celebrating our achievement.
2. That we don’t hate parties, we just feel overwhelmed very easily
Most of extroverts like to be the life of the party. They want to be the center of attention, that people will fight among themselves to talk to them, and to be sure that they are invited to every single event in town.
On the other way around, we do our best to fulfill our duty and go to a friend’s birthday party, and that’s all. But this doesn’t mean that we don’t like to be with people or that we have a hard time being confident during this kind of event.
The problem here is the strange sensation created by crowds on us, which can be very overwhelming and exhaustive after a couple of hours. So we rather enjoy spending time with small groups, but we are still happy to join your party – we just won’t stay very long.
3. the fact that we are quiet doesn’t Necessarily mean we are Sad
We enjoy being quiet and extroverts have to learn to deal with it. We enjoy silence and hearing our own thoughts, and it doesn’t mean that we are depressed or about to cry.
This kind of assumption is understandable as people tend to think that happiness is connected to movement, but they should also know that a lot is going on inside of an introvert’s mind. Meaning that being quiet isn’t a symptom of depression, neither one of its causes, so rest assured that we are fine.
4. the fact that we like to be alone doesn’t mean that we don’t like you
Same way, it is important that you understand that we don’t need company all the time. We are happy by ourselves, and we truly enjoy it a lot. It gives us the opportunity to recharge, to reflect about our lives, and to plan our next challenges.
Having said that, this need doesn’t imply that we don’t like you. Actually, the fact that we consider you as our friend should be taken as a huge compliment, as we choose people allowed to stay close to us very carefully. But yet, we don’t require full-time attention, even though we love to spend time with you. It is just a question of balance really.
5. we Probably need time to think before deciding something
As introverts, we aren’t impulsive people. We tend to think and analyze every single thing we do to the point of exhaustion, so you can imagine what happens when we have a proper decision to make.
So please don’t get mad if we have to go through an extensive research before booking our holidays with you, or even picking a restaurant for our next meal. It is just the way we process information, and you can avoid getting bored by letting us know your plans in advance (so we can do our research before meeting you).
6. we have Little patience for small talk or meaningless conversations
For us, words are sacred. They should be exchanged only with a purpose, not thrown inconsequently between two people. That is to say that we can’t stand the idea of doing small talk or having meaningless conversations with anybody, even with people that we love.
It honestly impresses us the ability that some people have to keep discussions about nothing at all for hours, but we won’t try to do the same. As a consequence, we aren’t your best choice to “catch up” over the phone or to text during a whole day about the most recent party you went. But we will be happy to talk to you if you need our help or have something important to say for sure.
7. we have feelings even though we sound cold
It is true that we aren’t the best on public demonstrations of affection or saying “I love you” as often as we probably should. And it can be very frustrated for people who loves us, as they might feel insecure about our feelings for them. But the thing is that we are reserved people, who prefer to show how we feel through acts instead of words.
And most of us haven’t developed our speaking skills very well, because we were just too busy improving other skills, so even when we try to say something it sounds a bit awkward. But you should know that our feelings have deep and strong roots and that the fact that we are putting our books aside so to spend time with you is a big compliment on its own
8. The bottom line: we are Generally , so don’t try to change us
As you might have noticed, introverts are who we are; there is little that we can do about it. Yes, there is always room for improvement, and we will be happy to turn ourselves into a project and work on our weaknesses. But the point is that we don’t see our unique characteristics as something wrong, but just as part of the person that we are. So don’t try to change us without giving us a good reason for doing so. And, please, don’t be always frustrated around us. It will just push us away. Try to accept us and to see the strengths that we might have instead, and you will be able to count on us forever and ever.
This blog post has been reproduced with the permission of Expanded Consciousness. The original blog post can be found here. The views expressed by the author are not necessarily endorsed by this organization and are simply provided as food for thought from Intellectual Takeout.???????????????????????????????????
[Image Credit: Pixabay | CCO Public Domain]